tash42
I myself am Dutch too btw but since recently live in London. I've noticed that here, random people on the street/shops seem to not only be more 'polite' but will help other people more if for example they trip, are carrying a heavy suitcase, fall off a bike etc. British friends who've visited Holland have said Dutch people are ruder.
Coming back to Holland last time, I was slightly struggling with my suitcase down some stairs and it struck me how lots of young guys would stare at me but do nothing to help. It didn't bother me at all, not because it would've been 'sexist', but because ultimately I could take care of it myself (and actually would've been embarrassed, not to mention wary of them stealing it) but I could see a difference with Britain.
I did some Googling and some people have said since Holland is so egalitarian, Dutch women find it sexist if men help them with similar things, hold open doors etc. and this is why it isn't done there. Is this true for you? Would you be offended/embarrassed if a guy offered to help; do you think it is rude that they don't?
Answer
I have also lived in both the UK and NL so this made me smile as I have had "good and bad" experiences in both and actually don't necessarily put it down to nationality.
I have also lived in both a large city in each (Amsterdam and Birmingham) and also in more rural areas in both and this is where I notice the largest difference to be honest.
I have been stuck in Birmingham on the side of a road, changing a car tyre in the pouring rain, and lost count of the amount of single males in cars that drove by staring at me. Equally in NL, (after a car service I might add, the wheel actually came off my car, went into the hedgerow, and I had to try to hunt to find it. Once again, dressed for work in a suit and heels one morning, and even though there was a traffic jam, not one person stopped (even the company Personnel Manager who claimed he was in a rush later). I was completely unamused in both cases!
I am a person who tends to observe and would not hestitate to help if I could - move aside for people on the tram etc etc. However I have been on the same tram, 8 months pregnant and carrying a toddler, and it took an older gentlemen to ask someone to move aside for me.
However, it is not all bad I have to say, living now in a more rural area in NL, it is somehow more personal and calmer here. As well as the service in the shops being better (friendly and cannot help too much generally) then people are more open. A few weeks ago a wheel fell off the children's buggy (yes I know, me and wheels seem destined to be a bad combination!), and within seconds, two different guys were trying to fix it for me, and a woman stopped to see if I needed help to hold the children under an umbrella while they did.
So I wonder also if this is part of the "big city" ethos where people don't speak on the trams, smile on the streets etc (I'm guilty as well when in Amsterdam). I was brought up in a little village and you always smiled and said hello on the street when you made eye contact. I also do this again now in the neighbourhood where I live as people make more eye contact here and thus open the door to interaction.
I think helping people is generally good manners and in today's society, good manners (unfortunatley) are something which are disappearing under the facade of being egalitarian. Unfortunately though I do agree that personal security dictates that people are more wary to help and be helped as there is not so much trust in society as there was e.g. 20 years ago, and this is a real shame.
Personally I don't have a problem with guys being a "gentlemen" and helping out, opening doors (although within reason like Willeke mentioned!). It's not being sexist, more just manners and upbringing. However if a colleague etc goes first through the door - well I never bother about it either. (I do notice the ones who do it though).
Good question though :0)
I have also lived in both the UK and NL so this made me smile as I have had "good and bad" experiences in both and actually don't necessarily put it down to nationality.
I have also lived in both a large city in each (Amsterdam and Birmingham) and also in more rural areas in both and this is where I notice the largest difference to be honest.
I have been stuck in Birmingham on the side of a road, changing a car tyre in the pouring rain, and lost count of the amount of single males in cars that drove by staring at me. Equally in NL, (after a car service I might add, the wheel actually came off my car, went into the hedgerow, and I had to try to hunt to find it. Once again, dressed for work in a suit and heels one morning, and even though there was a traffic jam, not one person stopped (even the company Personnel Manager who claimed he was in a rush later). I was completely unamused in both cases!
I am a person who tends to observe and would not hestitate to help if I could - move aside for people on the tram etc etc. However I have been on the same tram, 8 months pregnant and carrying a toddler, and it took an older gentlemen to ask someone to move aside for me.
However, it is not all bad I have to say, living now in a more rural area in NL, it is somehow more personal and calmer here. As well as the service in the shops being better (friendly and cannot help too much generally) then people are more open. A few weeks ago a wheel fell off the children's buggy (yes I know, me and wheels seem destined to be a bad combination!), and within seconds, two different guys were trying to fix it for me, and a woman stopped to see if I needed help to hold the children under an umbrella while they did.
So I wonder also if this is part of the "big city" ethos where people don't speak on the trams, smile on the streets etc (I'm guilty as well when in Amsterdam). I was brought up in a little village and you always smiled and said hello on the street when you made eye contact. I also do this again now in the neighbourhood where I live as people make more eye contact here and thus open the door to interaction.
I think helping people is generally good manners and in today's society, good manners (unfortunatley) are something which are disappearing under the facade of being egalitarian. Unfortunately though I do agree that personal security dictates that people are more wary to help and be helped as there is not so much trust in society as there was e.g. 20 years ago, and this is a real shame.
Personally I don't have a problem with guys being a "gentlemen" and helping out, opening doors (although within reason like Willeke mentioned!). It's not being sexist, more just manners and upbringing. However if a colleague etc goes first through the door - well I never bother about it either. (I do notice the ones who do it though).
Good question though :0)
Is it safe to cycle on a main road with a child seat, if you're sensible....?
.
I live in the UK, two miles from town and have no car, and the buses are few. The road that links my village to town is a so called "main road" - though with only two lanes. During the cycle, an average of about ten to fifteen cars usually pass me going the same way, and I never travel at very busy times. I am a woman who cycles with her toddler in a rear child seat and he loves it. It means we can get about faster, instead of pushing a pushchair for half an hour! I am also very careful and vigilant when cycling with my precious cargo.
And we both get exercise and fresh air.
However today when I got back home, my neighbour who had passed me on the way said "you're brave!" - implying what? that i was stupid for travelling on the road? there is a back road i could take but it's very steep hills and i have to push it! i always find traffic very considerate and have been cycling like this for ages now, with no probs at all
would be interested to hear opinions. i assumed it was ok, what do you think?
Karavici - yes it is exactly like the one in the first pic, a little seat behind my seat.
Answer
Is it like this one?:
http://blog.rovearounds.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/bike-seat.jpg
Because I think that one is MUCH safer than this one:
http://childbicycletrailer.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/51UMOSgwxAL._AA280_3.jpgblue-trailer-bike3.jpg
I see people riding with their kids in those trailer things on main busy roads all the time. I think that's just insane. The seat on the back of your bike? The child is right up next to you. Riding anything has some sort of safety risk, whether you're in a car, bus, bike, etc. I don't think riding your child in a rear seat is any less safe than any other option.
Is it like this one?:
http://blog.rovearounds.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/bike-seat.jpg
Because I think that one is MUCH safer than this one:
http://childbicycletrailer.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/51UMOSgwxAL._AA280_3.jpgblue-trailer-bike3.jpg
I see people riding with their kids in those trailer things on main busy roads all the time. I think that's just insane. The seat on the back of your bike? The child is right up next to you. Riding anything has some sort of safety risk, whether you're in a car, bus, bike, etc. I don't think riding your child in a rear seat is any less safe than any other option.
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