Sunday, October 6, 2013

Am I going crazy? I believe so.?

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Ariana


Alright, well I have terrible anxiety.. And it drives me nuts! I get it everyday, yet again I have only Twelve years of age. This anxiety, It put extremely big Rashes on my chest. I have been put in the Emergancy Room for anxiety. I have had to get a Lumbar-Puncture.
I also have severe depression, I am on No Meds. This depression has been here for years, I have cut myself since I was Ten.
That leaves over 750 scars on my right arm, And that has led to bullying. Being called "Emo" and such. When I was Eleven, I was sexually abused having to do things I never wanted to do. That has led drastic effect on me. I have almost killed myself around Four times, because of being bulliled. Since those boys did those things, I have been called "Slut" "Whore" "Skank"...
Despite the fact that I am adopted, my mother was Six-Teen years old when she had me.
So of course kids LOVE to pick on me saying.. I'm the daughter of a "Whore" "Slut" "Skank".. These words had killed my emotional concept of bonding with other humans.
I have the fear of getting attached, because everyone betrays me, they leave me. It feels like they love to hurt me.
I've lost my ability to cry. And that is so hard to deal with, I mean we all want to cry at some points and just never stop. Am I right?
Well ya' know I can't even start.
And You don't know how badly I want to.
When I look in the mirror I see imperfection, I lift up my shirt.. And think not enough ribs are showing, I need to lose weight.. So then I don't eat for a few weeks. But it's hard, I'm a athlete.
I've broken my self esteem.
Somedays I just sleep all day, and never do anything.
I have no friends what so ever.
My bestfriend died, on July 3rd 2012.
And to this day I don't believe he's dead.
I still think he's out somewhere riding his mountain bike.
I've been to therapy, but I couldn't handle the big ball of happy.
I've been off and on drugs, and alcohol.
It made me feel so much better.
I'm trying to quit, and get my life back,
Help..



Answer
Hello! You are going through a lot right now. You are so young to be going through this. I'm sorry but hope I can help. I'm not a doctor but believe you do need help with some meds. I believe you need counseling also. But again i'm not a doctor. I was severly sexually abused for years and I am in therapy and take meds. Also I have anxiety. I try to deal with this by calming myself down by thinking of peaceful things. I try to stay positive in everything I do and say. This helps because negativity makes things worse. It is a shame that the other kids pick on you and bully you. Could you not say something to the school counselor and go to her or him for a little help. I feel you have some depression also. because you are so blue over your whole life. I'm sorry that you self harm. I don't understand that but know that it makes you feel, so thats why you do it. I think you need to check out different therapist not all are a like. I would go in and tell them you are not a big ball of happiness that you are a mess, that you are depressed and have anxiety, and low self esteem. That you are bullied at school and have been abused. This is nothing to be happy go lucky about. It is serious and you need to find a way to get through it. I hope you can stay off alcohol, it will make things worse not better I know because I tried to self medicate with alcohol myself and all it got me was drunk and in trouble, lol I hope u can find yourself some help. Seek medical attention before you are so bad you have to go into the hospital. Good luck I wish you the best young one. Blessings!

I'm pregnant and want to keep it but my boyfriend wants me to get an abortion. What do I do?

Q. Im 17 years old and I'll be 8 weeks pregnant on July 1st(I'm due February 10th 2012).. and my boyfriends 20 years old... I don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose the baby ive already created a little bond, and i don't believe in abortions... Hes never had a real job he just does mountain biking videos for friends and gets paid for it, but has no steady income.. I work about 20-30 hours at a clothing store and plan to finish high school online this summer, and go to hair school in september.. He says if I keep the baby that hes going to leave me and his child and doesn't want to look back, and if he comes around its cause he feels like he has to not because he wants to... I'm scared to have a kid at such a young age and being a single mother (I'm not sure how I'd be financially) but I know I could do it and that I'd be a great mother (I've always had that motherly instinct(I played with dolls till I was 13.. LOVED THEM!!)).. Any help or advice is much appreciated!! Thanks for reading this and responding!!


Answer
aww :] little baby :] im 17 weeks pregnant today. im 16 my boyfriend is 20. luckly we both wanted to keep it :]. and its a sad situation you in :[ im with you abortion is not something i would personally do. but i am pro choice if a women wants it they have the right. its your body your little baby your carrying so its your decision. but he has a decision to. he can leave. but if you dont think you can afford a baby there is the option of adoption (i wouldnt personally do it) there is open adoption, semi-open adoption, and closed adoption. and there are support groups. im in wic (helps you out with the baby). my boyfriend is on social security. so we have a bit of money coming in. a baby is the greatest gift (in my opinion) and it is normal to be scared, im terrifide but its an exciting thing:] so its worth it. hopefully your mother is supportive because she will be your best-friend. dont let him control your life. its not fair. it would be like having a bond with your new puppy and him taking it away and killing it. it would be sad. and the emotional scar after an abortion is horrible. it can also damage your chances of getting pregnant in the future. and sorry to say but chances are if he is threating to leave now, he probably wont stay.

which is more important baby or a boy?




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