zenzen
I had two kids 6 and 2 year old and couldn't have another because of the medical reasons so we ended up adopting a sibling group and 1 and 2 year olds. Now I doubt if we made the right decision adopting 2 kids and once because 3 kids under age of 2 is more than difficult. We we told by our adoption agency the older girl is 4 and is is so not 4, she was barely 2 when we met her.
Adopted kids came with a number of medical issues which took us about 6 month to treat them. After a few surgeries and many rounds of drugs they seem to be quite healthy and doing well. We kind of settled in our routine and they got more used to us and their behavior got better but even now it is overwhelming. I don't have anybody to help me during the day and my husband has a long commute and comes home at 8pm when kids go to bed.
I have to drive my 6 year old to school and pick him up every day (takes about 30 minutes round trip twice a day), then I drive my 2 year olds to pre-school twice a week for a half-day. I have to feed them lunch, read to them, change 3 sets of diapers, put them for a nap, go to pick up my older son, do homework with him, cook dinner, feed them, play with kids, wash them and put everybody to sleep. It feels more like running a daycare than having a family, my kids are sweet but due to their young age and attachment issues are very demanding and difficult. I don't even have time to clean the house anymore during the day--I do it when everybody sleeps. One of the worst for me things is taking 3 kids under 2 to public places such as doctors offices, grocery stores, libraries, etc. I always worry somebody will get run over on the parking lot. I also get tired of people looking at us like we are a zoo and not a family and making all kinds of comments especially because of skin colors don't watch and I'm pushing a giant triple stroller with 3 toddlers. I resent my decision to adopt because now it worsened the quality of our lives as a family. Before we had plenty of time for walks, bike ride, movies, theater, play-dates with friends, now it's all gone. I also have very little time to interact with my older son and take him to his activities and sports. It seems to me all I do is take care of basic needs of children: cook, clean, change, drive and repeat. And all they do is scream, run away, make messes and don't listen. I have become a lot less patent with kids than I used to be and I don't like that a single bit. I find it very hard to cope.
Can anybody else have 3 kids under 2 y.o. and one older kid do a good job as a parent without anybodies help and not lose their sanity and not resent children?
Answer
First of all, you did a wonderful thing adopting those two kids! It has always been my dream to adopt as many children as I could possibly support. Right now I have two year old twin boys, a 1 year old daughter, and another one on the way, AS WELL as taking care of my sister's two kids, age 1 and 3 during the day (they go home around 8pm and come at 6am). I am changing FIVE sets of diapers every single day, and it is the worst part...
They all play together and for the most part they get along...but you know toddlers. Their favorite words are "mine" and "no".
This is how I do it: Morning time, everybody gets a diaper change. EVERYbody. Even if they aren't that wet, because it means there is a large possibility that in an hour or so, they will ALL need diaper changes again at the same time. Then, I make breakfast. I cater to my kids so I don't hear five screaming kids about the food. Jasper likes oatmeal every morning. EVERY morning. James likes pancakes, waffles, that sort of stuff (store-bought of course). Jolynn will usually eat oatmeal, but sometimes she is in the mood for canned biscuits. My sister's kids are easy and eat kix or Cheerios or any kind of cereal really. I make a schedule and switch around foods for them, letting THEM choose from a list of what they want to eat.
By that time it's about 7am, and usually the twins will go back to sleep until 9 and the two 1 year olds will too, leaving me and the 3 year old to watch TV or start thinking about lunch or just...cleaning if we want to. Let me tell you. My house is a wreck and I don't clean as often as I would like to...
Anyway, so now it's about 9 and all the kids are getting up. The twins want a warm bottle and the 1 year olds want juice, and the 3 year old wants soda, but I tell her no and give her juice instead (this is an every day thing). So as the kids are waking up, they watch some JoJo's circus or something educational (usually, or Sponge Bob). Then they start to play. They have free roam of my bottom floor, as it is child-proofed. There is a gate keeping them downstairs and out of the kitchen, but they can do whatever they please in the rest of the area. The toy box is in the toy room, there is nothing for them to climb onto, and NO small parts for the babies. I take this time while they are playing to refill all the bottles with water and fold some laundry or think more about what to make for lunch.
All my kids are vegetarians, but my sister's kids are not. My kids are okay with cheese sandwiches for lunch, but my sister's kids prefer hot dogs or prepared kids meals that just have to be heated up. So they eat chicken nuggets or sometimes I get lucky and they'll eat what the other kids are eating. We are only organic with my kids, so when I can get them to eat healthy, I try.
They are constantly snaking throughout the day. Piece of banana here, apples there, yummy kiwi smoothies sometimes :-) Diapers are constantly being changed. As soon as I smell poop, everybody gets a diaper change, or if somebody is wet, everybody gets a diaper change because chances are, they all need one anyway.
And then after lunch they go back to playing. The twins and my 1 year old will sleep until 3, and my sister's kids might take a nap until 2 or sometimes 3. While they are sleeping, I pick up a bit, putting stuff back in it's place or cleaning up juice off the floor.
We eat dinner around 6pm, again, I cater to them, letting them choose what they want from a list we keep. That way they think they are making their own decisions and you have a list of food you are comfortable making.
Just make lots of schedules and stick to them. Make dinner schedules and stick to them. Prepare everything on Sunday when the kids have done down for bed. Make a list of what you need to accomplish that week, with room for innovations, as something always comes up.
You can do this.
What age do kids typically start to learn to ride a bike?
Mikey's Mo
Sorry for such a silly question, but I'm just not sure.
I have a new toddler bike with training wheels for my niece. She is 2 now (3 in September). I'm not sure if she'll be able to start riding this summer, or if I should wait until her birthday or Christmas to give her the bike so she can ride next summer. Or, is 3 even too young?
Thanks in advance!
Answer
She can probably start riding now, depending on the size of the bike. You want a bike that is correctly sized. A child will go through several bikes. There is not a one size fits all. My kids are on their fourth set of bikes and they are 8 & 9. They began riding at 2 1/2. One was riding without training wheels at 3 1/2 and the other at 4 1/2.
I was without training wheels at 3 1/2 too.
It's easier when they are young. They have less of a fear. Only with age do we develop fear.
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